It’s been a while and so much has happened since I last posted, so I believe I will just pick up where I left of in May and take it one day at a time.
So May, after my show. Here are some photos:
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Surreal Bliss May 2, 2011
Caution: this post is pure and strait from my brain…take it for what it is.
Last night was my Senior BFA Exhibition. That’s right folks, I am unofficially finished with ceramics at the University of North Texas. It has been a unbeilivable four years of my life. I have summer school to go, but I don’t really count that. I get my diploma in August. For me, last night was my graduation.
After spring break, I turned on the turbo jets. Usually, this is the time of the semester when my spirits and motivation begin to wane, but this time I had an extremely motivating force behind me. I learned the importance of having a plan that, theoretically undisturbed, will get you to the end point; the desired destination. This concept is not one that I have understood very well in the past. Even now as I see the results of such planning, it is hard for me to implement. However, my BFA show will go down in Amanda Nicole Ratheal history as such a time when planning and focus paid off. I realized that when I completely focused on that one thing until it was complete, I enjoyed the whole process so much more! Long nights in the studio were hard, but because I knew what they would result in, they became second nature. In the past, I have set out on projects and ideas of which I did not know the end result, and therefore did not know the means with which to get there.
It was wonderful to see all of my work assembled and together. To see my whole body of work from four years revealed a lot to me about myself. I enjoyed seeing the pure reaction of people in response to my art. It is hard to describe what I do, so I believe that my show was a way to introduce a side of me that most do not get to experience fully. When I tell people who I make rain and trees and seeds and windmills, I get crazy looks and sarcastic comments. People do not know how to react. At that point in the conversation, I have usually lost their attention and am not able to elaborate. Well finally, my show was an elaboration of all that I create. My desire is that the essence of my work was displayed and not merely the symbolic representation of its prototype in nature. I think my artist statement can take over now, especially for those of you who have not seen my work:
My work is organic and inspired by the simple things made by my Creator. I believe that all things, including the trees and leaves and stars in the sky were fashioned for a greater purpose than to just merely exist. The ability to create through the use of clay, or any other material, is an honor to me and a way to express my passion for life and love for my Creator. I see my work as not merely “mimicking” nature, but interpreting it and then making a tribute out of that interpretation.
I make art to explore the process, from start to finish, involved in creating an object that serves no other purpose but to evoke a response by it’s viewer and mirror the characteristics of its creator. My current work focuses on the cycle of life and creation with a few added “points of interest” along the way. My work signifies the essence of the creation cycle and the choices and consequences of life, faith and all things in between.
I work mainly through the method of hand building and coiling; using wheel thrown objects occasionally. I finish my work with layers of stain, over-fired underglazes, and occasionally acrylic paint. I choose my method of finishing based upon individual pieces and their characteristics. I tend to break the rules when it comes to practical methods, but all for the sake of the experience and process. I embrace the unexpected and involve the mistakes in my final products. If I cannot learn to do this in my art, how will I ever learn to do so in life?
I am thankful for the ability to create. I am thankful for the opportunity to have a show. I am thankful for my supportive family that helped to make it happen. I am thankful for joy and fullness of life that can only be found in the one Creator. He is the Artist of all artists. My one desire is that my work points to Him and exists only to bring Him glory.
P.S. All images in this post were taken by Jillian Zamora, an incredible photographer. You should check out her website: http://jillianzamora.com
P.P.S. It’s raining right now. 
Challenge February 8, 2011
While reading C.S. Lewis aloud to one of my best friends and roommate, Yandi, I realized that I miss the challenge.
I miss the challenge of delving in the apologetics and philosophy. I miss debate and discussion with friends who also cared about something other than pop culture. Conversations such as “what did you think of the latest Glee episode?” have their place, but what about discussion of the writings of Tolstoy or the poems of Walt Whitman?
I believe that though, disputes and uncanny debate over philosophy is futile, it is no more so than perusing through People magazine. Ecclesiastes states that “…all is vanity and a striving after the wind(Ecc. 2:17).” However, my question is, will People magazine really challenge your perspective of life or your perception of people?
My challenge to you is to break out of your habitual routine and engage your eyes in the reading of someone who is dead. Have a discussion about Hemingway. Read the poems of Robert Frost. I think you will be surprised at what these things spark up in your mind. With this challenge set, I would like to share with you what I read the other day that got me to thinking so much about expanding the horizon of my influence again:
Friendship, like the other natural loves, is unable to save itself. In reality, because it is spiritual and therefore faces a subtler enemy, it must even more wholeheartedly than they, invoke the divine protection if it hopes to remain sweet. For consider how narrow its true path is. It must not become what the people call a ‘mutual admiration society’; yet if it is not full of mutual admiration, of Appreciative love, it is not Friendship at all…
For a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies had been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you’, can truly say to every group of Christian friends, ‘You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.’ The friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by Friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as for revealing. At this feast it is He who has spread the board and it is He who has chosen the guests. It is He, we may dare to hope, who sometimes does, and always should, preside. Let us not reckon without our Host.”
C.S. Lewis, Friendship Needs Divine Protection (The Business of Heaven)
All things NEW January 30, 2011
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. -Psalm 27:14
Almost a month ago, a new year began. Almost two months ago I was in New York. Christmas time brought several new things: a Keurig coffee pot, inexpensive “fake” new red TOMS, a golden retriever puppy for my Dad and on and on I could go. Most impacting out of all of these “new” things would have to be New York. New York gave me a revived vision, motivation and insight. New York allowed me to see more than just myself again (there will be a separate post about my NYC trip).
In reference to all of the ”new” things in my life listed above, a good friend of mine reminded me that “there is nothing new under the sun.” The application of his comment was light-hearted and ironic, but all in all it is a true statement.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9
The word new as it is being used here means “of a kind now existing or appearing for the first time (dictionary.com).” Most often when I refer to something as new, I mean it is new to me or it is something that has been renewed.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,and renew a right spirit within me. -Psalm 51:10
The psalmist speaks of a renewed spirit. It is still the same spirit he is talking about, but his desire is that it is set right in the sight of the Lord. Then we have these words coming from Lamentations 3:22-24(NIV):
It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
This use of the word new, can be tied to this definition of the word: fresh or unused. Renewed would also work in this instance. This is the beauty of the Gospel. Day by day, our God is constant and his grace and mercy toward us are renewed. This world has nothing new to offer us, but in Christ we get a fresh start.
Don’t mistake the happiness that “new” things bring to your life for the joy of being renewed day by day by the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Rear View Mirror Blessings October 6, 2010
I found this little excerpt stashed away somewhere on my computer. It’s so good to look back so that I can remember from where I have come. It is interesting to re-live emotions from time gone by. It is in the remembering, that God shows himself most faithful and consistent in our lives.
In The Beginning (December, 21, 2009)
Several different reasons exist for why I decided to write today. The main reason is that I feel that God is about to begin a great and new chapter in my life. One that will be filled with high mountains and deep valleys, revelations and disappointments, and salty tears and loud laughs. I believe this chapter is a pivotal one in The Life of Amanda Ratheal. In January, I will officially assume the role as the Youth Minister for my little church in Denton. There you have the subject, now onto the how it came into being.
God has been preparing me for “such a time as this” for some time now. What a journey it has been and worth every second of it. In May of this year, God told me to expect something great to happen in the up coming months….I wasn’t really sure what He meant by that. I mean, so many wonderful and life changing things have happen over the past 7 months–which one was He referring to? To recap the past months, I was working with World Relief in June and also went to pottery camp in Wisconsin. July was filled with work and relaxing. August brought school and a knee injury that led to surgery in October, September meant the anniversary of my birth and a close call for my Dad….you get the picture. A lot of little things mixed in with a few major things created a prime atmosphere for God to really go to work in my life. I like to think that “the great thing” He was talking about is the Youth Group, but I really think it is all of the events of the past semester and summer. So many lessons, so many people and have come together to allow me so experience God’s grace and perfect will in a more vivid way than ever.
The theme of the semester for me was surrender and humility. In July, I had an ear infection that took me out for a couple of days—no big thing, but I realized how much I take being able to hear for granted. After the long drive to Wisconsin, it seemed that my car began to fall apart. One thing that fell out was the air conditioner…in the middle of summer…in humid Denton. Don’t take your car for granted or your air conditioner. Then came the fateful day that my knee popped while I was playing soccer. Been there. Done that and have the screws in my knee to prove it. I had ACL surgery when I was thirteen and that’s all I could think about. Well, it was just a torn meniscus, but it still took me out of most physical activity. This was a devastation for me. You see, I like to run–a lot. Running is my release. It’s what I do when I am frustrated or happy, tired or energized. It’s how I stay in shape, and make myself feel better after eating too much cheese cake. Running was my quick fix and God took that away from me for a while. Ouch. The last piece of the puzzle, or you could say, “the straw that broke the camel’s back” was a high blood pressure scare with my Dad that put him in the hospital for several days.
Through all of this God was reminding me that nothing is mine and I don’t deserve anything. My Dads ordeal was the clincher. He is MY Dad! No, God says, I get to borrow him. He is not mine and, my time with him can be over in a heart beat. God chose to bless me with a wonderful father. God chose to show His love for me through the love of my Dad. I am so thankful for him and thankful for the time God gives me with Him. I remember realizing this in a worship service and I just broke down. People and the relationships we have are blessings and opportunities to share God’s love. They are not ours and we must surrender them to God. We deserve nothing. Our life is not our own.
Surrender. that is what He wants from me. He has wanted it for a while, and now I have surrendered. God presented the opportunity at Memorial Baptist Church for me to put into action what He has been teaching me the past 7 months (and beyond). I am excited and honored that God chose me to do this. I am not worthy, nor do I feel equipped, but I believe God will provide and He will be glorified. My confidence is in the Lord.
Fall is here! October 3, 2010
If you know me well, you know that I LOVE Fall. I love everything about this grand season. I feel like my soul thrives during Fall.
Top 10 things I love about Fall:
10. Chili and stew (with cornbread of course)
9. Pumpkins (and pumpkin patches)
8. Pinecones (collecting them)
7. Thanksgiving (family and food)
6. My birthday (lots of love)
5. Perfect bicycle season (Aww….)
4. Fallish scents like spice, and Leaves from Bath and Body Works
3. Crisp, cool weather (see #5)
2. Scarfs (the extent of my fashion sense)
1. LEAVES!!! …changing colors, falling from trees…glorious!
I cannot express how warm and happy inside I am during fall. A sense of community and deep friendship also seems to become stronger when that first wisp of brisk air fills my lungs. Maybe it is because of all the wonderful warm drinks and tasty treats that surface in Autumn. It’s the best time to go have a cup of coffee and enjoy good conversation. Maybe during fall, everyone feels closer to each other. Maybe it is this season that brings us all together. Festivals and get-togethers around every corner!
So please, take it all in. Indulge in the beautiful season of fall with me….go to a pumpkin patch, ask a friend to coffee, Lay in the grass and watch the leaves falling, collect some pinecones, make pumpkin shaped pancakes for goodness sakes! God knows how much I love fall and I believe He blesses us with the changes and beauties of fall to remind us that He alone is constant, and he loves us so very much.
Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth; make a loud noise, and rejoice, sing praise….bless the LORD, O my soul….who laid the foundations of the earth that it should not be removed forever….O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all…I will sing to the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being. May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the LORD. (Psalm 98:4, 104:1, 5, 24, 33)
The bicycle in my living room August 16, 2010
How many of you have a bicycle in your living room? Yeah, that’s what I thought! I am one of few who will read this post who has a bicycle in their living room. “Big deal,” you say. I know, it’s not that big of a deal but for me it is a reminder of something I once wanted….something I forgot about, or just lost interest in. I am sure many of you can identify with that at least. How many times do we set out after an idea or a goal and veer off or stop all together before we even reach the halfway point? I am guilty of this concerning many thing in my life. This summer, in fact, might be the record setter for failed attempts to try at something I wanted to accomplish…just ask the dead zinnia plant or the parched tomato plant sitting on my porch. Garden fail. Oh, and if you can find the ghosts of my 2 dead goldfish, Herbal and Essence, you could ask them about my desire to keep goldfish. Pet Owner Fail. There is a basket full of yarn in my bedroom and 3 half-finished scarfs that I started over a year ago. Knitting Fail. And that bicycle? Well, it’s been in the same spot for at least 3 weeks…Super Cool Dentony Hardcore Biker Fail. Then there is the guitar and the bookshelf overloaded with books and all of those empty canvases….
Ok, so I am done with the complaining and the negativity, but honestly, take a look around at how many things that are left undone just because you got distracted or bored? You might be different from me, but I know I need to open my eyes to all that is at my finger tips!!! I should never have to speak the words, “I am bored.” Why? I have all of these things to accomplish and better yet, I actually enjoy doing them! So why do I push them aside so easily and dream of a more exciting life? I am living the unique artsy life that I always dreamed of and yet I am not satisfied. Have you ever wondered why?
Well, maybe it’s not wrong to want more….but you see, it’s not really more or excitement that I desire it’s depth and meaning and purpose. Diving into more hobbies is not going to extinguish this lacking boredom that settles in my gut about this time of year, that I numb with a dose of “well, things will pick up when school starts!” No, I desire more. I crave more and it’s not going to come from that bicycle in my living room.
As physical and spiritual beings, we are created with a “hole” in us that can only be filled adequately by God. Knowing God on an intimate level through a personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ is the only way that void can be filled. Once God has inhabited that void, He will not leave:
…neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:39
So, we cannot be separated from Him, but we can be distant. It is my belief that this desire for more in our lives is in fact, our desire for God. As a believer, that desire will not be satisfied unless I find my satisfaction in the Lord and in following after Him whole-heartedly again and again and again. We continue to desire more because God keeps desiring more of us. He wants a relationship with us built on now, not the prayer for forgiveness prayed five years ago. To the unbeliever, that desire for more is your soul crying out to be filled by the Creator of the Universe and the Savior of the World. The same is true for both groups; our yearning for depth and excitement and mystery will only be filled when we surrender and run after the Savior of our souls. Paul of the Bible had this idea down:
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 3:13-14
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. -2 Timothy 4:6-8
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. -1 Corinthians 9:25
Living out the call of God in your life where ever you are at physically, spiritually and mentally is the only thing that will satisfy and bring you true joy.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us… -Hebrews 12:1
Stay focused and run with endurance so that your life will be filled with meaning and depth and excitement. In Christ is where all of that which we desire most deeply is found. By no means am I telling you to scrap your bicycle or throw our your knitting and kick over your flower pots. I am simply reminding you to not look to those things or any new hobby you can think up to fulfill your life. Only Jesus can do that, and He does it quite perfectly without your help.
I can own a llama if I choose to! June 16, 2010
What do you mean?
Nobody can do everything, and though they say you can do whatever you put your mind to, it isn’t really true, is it? I mean, I know I have a billion and one choices everywhere I go and options as numerous as the stars in the sky, but is this a good thing? There are multiple options and paths I may choose concerning every area of my life. Walking into almost any restaurant (except El Guapo’s where I always know that I am going to get combination fajitas) I am overwhelmed and will even go as far as to say I dread the ordering process. There are so many different combinations of the same ingredients and they all taste just a little bit different. The menu at McAlister’s is as long as my house is wide! I would rather give the kind server the extremely small list of foods that I abhor and say, “You pick, just make sure the things on this list aren’t in it.” I promise, I think I would get less stressed out if I could do this. I mean, I am not a picky eater, so I would be content with whatever they chose, I am certain of it!
Wardrobe is a whole other story. Then, there is the decision about how to spend my weekend and what to name my goldfish and which CD I should by on my random music hunts. What is the best choice? Which decision will make me the happiest? These thoughts plague my mind! After the minuet details of my life are all decided and set in stone (like fajitas at El Guapo’s), I have all the major decisions to make like what to do with the rest of my life and how do I pay for it and will I ever own a llama…
Except for the llama bit, I really am very perplexed at the moment about what the next step is. The way I see it, life can be as complex as you make it, and the way I am thinking right now, life is very complex. Having too many choices can be a problem because it encourages a lack of commitment. I become afraid to commit because I might come across something that would be more satisfying and promising. The “what if’s” begin to control my life and I am swayed by the slightest breeze.
Commitment is a highly desired thing, but it is also one of the scarcest. A lack of commitment shows a lack of trust and a lack of faith. To commit is to let go of your ability to jump ship when things get hard or boring or down right dreadful. Commitment to a person, job, hobby or any other thing requires sacrifice, but oh how rewarding it can be! It seems that most often times, commitment is seen as bondage and something that takes away our freedom. On the contrary however, it is a freedom giver.
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating—in work, play, in love. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” –Anne Morris
Sometimes, we just need to stick to our guns—Commit! God’s will for our lives is not a secret that He is trying to hide from us. He is not the author of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33) but He gives us passions and desires for a reason. The more we seek out what it is that He has designed us to do, the more we will be able to see what our next step should be and how those passions can spur us onto living a life more abundantly in Christ. To continue to wait for what might be better or more exciting is to defer our trust in the Lord again and again. Thankfully our Lord is faithful, even when we are faithless (2 Tim. 2:13).
So my challenge to you is to commit with me to commit. Free yourself and find joy in pursuing God’s passions and desires all for the cross of Christ; so that He may be glorified in our lives.
Final Thoughts:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. –Prov. 3:5.6
Walking with Jane May 9, 2010
So you know that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Jane is traveling in the mud from her own home to Mr. Bingley’s? The one were there is perfect asymmetrical balance, if there exists such a thing, between Jane and the lovely voluptuous tree settled on the left side of the screen. Well, perhaps you only understand this reference if you are a hopeless romantic female like myself. This picture is the epitome of confidence and peace for me. There is something about the composition of the elements within this frame. It could possibly be the beautiful arrangement of several of my favorite elements: trees, rainy days, and freedom.
Jane is a very passionate, confident, motivated person and this frame displays these qualities in a most eloquent way. I want to be there. Seeing this momentary scene play out makes me nostalgic about times when I have felt such peace and confidence, and then urges me to look ahead into what might provide such a time again. Contentment mingled with purpose and dedication; serenity…how does one live and breathe and exist in such a state? There is so much chaos and moments of terrible symmetrical balance and unexpected mud puddles that creep into my perfect scene. If you continue to watch the movie, you see that Jane is also experiencing much turmoil and discontentedness at this time, but for five wonderful seconds there is raw and natural contentment.
Unfortunately, I cannot—no matter how badly I desire to—crawl into that perfect scene. I cannot live in the perfect moment all of the time, or even the majority of the time. I must live though. Not only just to live, but to live in the most effective and committed way I can…this is what I am destined to do. To live effectively means to be me, Amanda Nicole Ratheal 100% of the time. No matter how silly or obvious you think the last statement is, it is true. Most, including myself, do not know what this truly means. You see, just recently, I discovered that I can experience every single emotion known to man in the span of only an hour. Yes, an hour. It is also possible to loose site of dreams and passions that you thought ran so deep that it would take the extreme act of draining the very blood from your body to loose. I am sorrowful and bitter and selfish. These things are apart of me as well as the happy bubbly spirit that I thought was the only thing that was supposed to exist within me. To be me, you see, does not mean only living in the good times. If this were true, for a portion of my life at least, I would not be living. Bad things happen, we are sinful people and to deny that either of these things are true is to deny who God made you to be as well as His power to deliver you. We must push forward through the pits and rutts all the while acknowledging that we are broken and sinful people in need of the grace and mercy and help of a loving Heavenly Father. This is what I mean by being me, 100% of the time.
God is God in the good times and bad. He is constant and unwavering.
Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ.
— John Piper (A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God)
