I can own a llama if I choose to! June 16, 2010

What do you mean?

Nobody can do everything, and though they say you can do whatever you put your mind to, it isn’t really true, is it?  I mean, I know I have a billion and one choices everywhere I go and options as numerous as the stars in the sky, but is this a good thing?  There are multiple options and paths I may choose concerning every area of my life.  Walking into almost any restaurant (except El Guapo’s where I always know that I am going to get combination fajitas) I am overwhelmed and will even go as far as to say I dread the ordering process.  There are so many different combinations of the same ingredients and they all taste just a little bit different.  The menu at McAlister’s is as long as my house is wide!  I would rather give the kind server the extremely small list of foods that I abhor and say, “You pick, just make sure the things on this list aren’t in it.”  I promise, I think I would get less stressed out if I could do this.  I mean, I am not a picky eater, so I would be content with whatever they chose, I am certain of it!

Wardrobe is a whole other story.  Then, there is the decision about how to spend my weekend and what to name my goldfish and which CD I should by on my random music hunts.  What is the best choice?  Which decision will make me the happiest?  These thoughts plague my mind!  After the minuet details of my life are all decided and set in stone (like fajitas at El Guapo’s), I have all the major decisions to make like what to do with the rest of my life and how do I pay for it and will I ever own a llama…

Except for the llama bit, I really am very perplexed at the moment about what the next step is.  The way I see it, life can be as complex as you make it, and the way I am thinking right now, life is very complex.  Having too many choices can be a problem because it encourages a lack of commitment.  I become afraid to commit because I might come across something that would be more satisfying and promising.  The “what if’s” begin to control my life and I am swayed by the slightest breeze.

Commitment is a highly desired thing, but it is also one of the scarcest.  A lack of commitment shows a lack of trust and a lack of faith.  To commit is to let go of your ability to jump ship when things get hard or boring or down right dreadful.  Commitment to a person, job, hobby or any other thing requires sacrifice, but oh how rewarding it can be!  It seems that most often times, commitment is seen as bondage and something that takes away our freedom.  On the contrary however, it is a freedom giver.

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating—in work, play, in love.  To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” –Anne Morris

Sometimes, we just need to stick to our guns—Commit!  God’s will for our lives is not a secret that He is trying to hide from us.  He is not the author of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33) but He gives us passions and desires for a reason.  The more we seek out what it is that He has designed us to do, the more we will be able to see what our next step should be and how those passions can spur us onto living a life more abundantly in Christ.  To continue to wait for what might be better or more exciting is to defer our trust in the Lord again and again.  Thankfully our Lord is faithful, even when we are faithless (2 Tim. 2:13). 

So my challenge to you is to commit with me to commit.  Free yourself and find joy in pursuing God’s passions and desires all for the cross of Christ; so that He may be glorified in our lives.

Final Thoughts:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.  –Prov. 3:5.6

Walking with Jane May 9, 2010

So you know that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Jane is traveling in the mud from her own home to Mr. Bingley’s?  The one were there is perfect asymmetrical balance, if there exists such a thing, between Jane and the lovely voluptuous tree settled on the left side of the screen.  Well, perhaps you only understand this reference if you are a hopeless romantic female like myself.  This picture is the epitome of confidence and peace for me.  There is something about the composition of the elements within this frame.  It could possibly be the beautiful arrangement of several of my favorite elements:  trees, rainy days, and freedom.  

Jane is a very passionate, confident, motivated person and this frame displays these qualities in a most eloquent way.  I want to be there.  Seeing this momentary scene play out makes me nostalgic about times when I have felt such peace and confidence, and then urges me to look ahead into what might provide such a time again.  Contentment mingled with purpose and dedication; serenity…how does one live and breathe and exist in such a state?   There is so much chaos and moments of terrible symmetrical balance and unexpected mud puddles that creep into my perfect scene.  If you continue to watch the movie, you see that Jane is also experiencing much turmoil and discontentedness at this time, but for five wonderful seconds there is raw and natural contentment.

Unfortunately, I cannot—no matter how badly I desire to—crawl into that perfect scene.  I cannot live in the perfect moment all of the time, or even the majority of the time.  I must live though. Not only just to live, but to live in the most effective and committed way I can…this is what I am destined to do.  To live effectively means to be me, Amanda Nicole Ratheal 100% of the time. No matter how silly or obvious you think the last statement is, it is true. Most, including myself, do not know what this truly means.  You see, just recently, I discovered that I can experience every single emotion known to man in the span of only an hour. Yes, an hour.  It is also possible to loose site of dreams and passions that you thought ran so deep that it would take the extreme act of draining the very blood from your body to loose.  I am sorrowful and bitter and selfish.  These things are apart of me as well as the happy bubbly spirit that I thought was the only thing that was supposed to exist within me.  To be me, you see, does not mean only living in the good times.  If this were true, for a portion of my life at least, I would not be living.  Bad things happen, we are sinful people and to deny that either of these things are true is to deny who God made you to be as well as His power to deliver you. We must push forward through the pits and rutts all the while acknowledging that we are broken and sinful people in need of the grace and mercy and help of a loving Heavenly Father.  This is what I mean by being me, 100% of the time. 

God is God in the good times and bad.  He is constant and unwavering. 

Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ.

 — John Piper (A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God)

                                                           

wise, wise words April 1, 2010

As You Go Through Life, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Don’t look for the flaws as you go through life;
And even when you find them,
It is wise and kind to be somewhat blind
And look for the virtue behind them.
For the cloudiest night has a hint of light
Somewhere in its shadows hiding;
It is better by far to hunt for a star,
Than the spots on the sun abiding.

The current of life runs ever away
To the bosom of God’s great ocean.
Don’t set your force ‘gainst the river’s course
And think to alter its motion.
Don’t waste a curse on the universe –
Remember it lived before you.
Don’t butt at the storm with your puny form,
But bend and let it go o’er you.

The world will never adjust itself
To suit your whims to the letter.
Some things must go wrong your whole life long,
And the sooner you know it the better.
It is folly to fight with the Infinite,
And go under at last in the wrestle;
The wiser man shapes into God’s plan
As water shapes into a vessel.

This is my all-time favorite poem.  Occasionally I run back across it and remember when I first read this poem as a freshman in high school.  Mrs. Fritz/Graves had us create a massive poetry project that was so much work (I actually really enjoyed it)!  We annotated, dissected and even wrote poems for the thing.  In my hunt for poems that had to do with perseverance (my theme), I came across Mrs. Wilcox’s poem and have been in love with it ever since. 

She speaks so truthfully of life and what we should expect.  It is not “if” difficulties or discouragements will occur, the question is “when” and “for how long.”  Fighting reality only results in humiliation and pain.  Acknowledging it and moving forward is the only way.  The last two lines are my favorite.  Just when you think it couldn’t get anymore truthful, Ella nails it again! 

“The wiser man shapes into God’s plan,

as water shapes into a vessel.”

With all of that reality working against us, how can we survive?  Well for the wise, defeat is not reality.  God is always waiting and ready for us.  He has plans (Jeremiah 29:11) and surprises and blessing already waiting for us!  That is reality for the one who seeks God’s face and desires to be apart of His perfect will.

As the Psalmist said:

Wait on the Lord, and be of good courage and His will strengthen your heart. (Psalm 27:14)

So whatever the storm, however dark the clouds, there is hope.  Hope in the Lord.  Submit to His perfect will.

The Olympics Are Over? March 13, 2010

That’s right folks, the 2010 Winter Olympics are over and done with. I feel so not included.  I didn’t even watch figure skating!  Why didn’t anyone…tell….me….to?  February 12th through the 28th were the only days to experience this epic and historic tradition that began almost a century ago in France.  It used to be such a big deal.  In the past, the Olympics have been so celebrated.  How could something that displays  the intricately formed and wired human body in the most demanding circumstances be forgotten.  How could an event that gives so much glory to the ultimate Creator be forgotten?  Do you want to know the honest to goodness truth?  It wasn’t.  I just didn’t acknowledge it.

Don’t worry.  I am not about to write a synopsis of the Winter Olympics or even describe for you its importance in my life.  I just want to share the not-so-secret epiphany that I had a few days ago while running on a treadmill at the gym.  Like all of the other hamsters in the cage, I was running and mindlessly watching the TV screen in front of me when all of the sudden the commercials ended and up popped a bob sledding race.  Since when did bob sledding become  a normal sport to watch on ESP….OH! It’s the Olympics! Duh!  How could I not know this?  Well, it’s easy.  You see, I don’t watch TV (except at the gym), read the paper or even follow CNNnews highlights online.  (Ouch, that makes me sound terribly out of touch with the world)! That’s just it.  I am out of touch with the world and that is why I did not recognize this world-wide event that only happens every four years.

When I was a kid, the Olympics were big.  If you lived at the Ratheal house, you didn’t miss a night of the Olympics–especially the figure skaters or the bob sledding races(thanks to one of our favorite movies, Cool Runnings).  We planned dinner around it and even taped a few races.  You know, back when we used VHS tapes. We loved the Olympics.  I even remember waking up at 1AM to go watch the torch run through downtown Amarillo for the 2002 Winter Games.  We were big fans.

I bring all this up to say a simple truth that I am sure most of you are already aware of:  I am just one little piece of the world and my life does not dictate the importance of what is going on around me.  Just because I did not watch the Olympics does not mean that they did not happen with just as much hype and grandeur as when I was 12.  The focus of my life has changed and I have chosen to be enthralled by other things.  This is the beauty of life.  We get to decide what we love and what we participate in.  We get to make so many choices that will change, at least our own life, and possibly the lives of many others.

God has blessed me with a lot of change lately.  It has not has been physical or epic, but non the less, God has been working over-time in my life lately. The evidence:  inner peace and outward change.  It has been incredible to see the prayers that have been answered and the corners that God has brought me around and sometimes all that He says is, “See, I knew where you were, and now WE are moving on.  No need to worry my child.” 

This life is all controlled by personal perspective.  What some don’t realize is that personal perspective can change.  If your perspective of life is bringing you down and holding you back to sit in a stagnant pit of selfish self-pity (my EX-perspective), then pray for God to pull you out, wipe your bum off and move you somewhere else.  I promise, He is faithful to do so…..in His timing.  Don’t get discouraged and don’t give up.  He knows where you sit, and if you’re sitting all He asks is that you begin moving and He will direct you.  If it’s change you want ask for it and seek it and above all, wait. 

Isaiah 40:31

      “But those who wait on the LORD
      Shall renew their strength;
      They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
      They shall run and not be weary,
      They shall walk and not faint.”

Psalm 130:5

” I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.”

The word wait in these verses is not a passive verb.  It is an active waiting that we should participate in vigorously.  In waiting we should be seeking and asking and acting.  Waiting means desiring the wisdom and knowledge of God to guide your steps.  When I think of the word wait, I think of when I was a middle schooler having to wait to be picked up after school.  Some of those times seemed like an eternity.  Why?  Because I would just sit outside by the flag pole.  That’s all.  I would just sit.  A more accurate picture of what waiting (for God) should look like is the time before soccer games back in high school.  Waiting for the game to start ment jogging laps, running drills, stretching and listening for the ref’s whistle.  There was hardly a moment in which we would just be sitting on the bench.  This time before the game always flew by!

Just as I did back in the day before a soccer game, our waiting should be in preparation for what is next.  If God has you in a period of waiting, don’t view it with an attitude of apathy or disdain.  Embrace it and see what God has in store for you around the corner.  If that means not watching the Olympics ritualistically anymore or even getting up and moving away from the flag pole, so be it.  Let God bless you with His perfect plan of a life that is not stagnant and is every changing and moving in His direction.

Donald Miller put it very nicely:

“Life is a dance towards God.”

Let God lead.  He will amaze you.

Snow…it’s kinda like rain February 11, 2010

Hello Snow Day!

Today I awoke to a beautiful blanket of white snow on the bush outside my bedroom window.  How exciting!!!  The snow is STILL coming down in sheets. I figured that this beautiful day, now dedicated to whatever I want to do, would be a perfect day to open up this blog to the rest of the world…well, at least you since you are reading this.  Ya know, it’s just something that I have been wanting to do.  I don’t know why…maybe because in my prior life, I was a writer…or maybe just because I like to think a lot.  Whatever the case, here I am!  Excuse my bad grammar and please don’t judge my sentence structure. 

So I have discovered that any sort of extreme weather gets me to thinking…ALOT.  I ponder, I contemplate, I over anylyze, etc.  Then, I usually feel an overwhelmingly strong need to write, and write I usually do!  It is in these times of thinking and usually some form of precipitation, that I hear God speak to me most.  I wonder why that is?  I have been reading in Psalm a lot lately and have been very blessed by the promises in those verses.  With these promises there is a contageous encouragement to seek God.

Psalm 63:5-12  “….My soul waits only upon God; for my expectation is from Him….In God is my salvation…trust in Him at ALL times….God has spoken….the power belongs to God!

So many “IF/ThEN” statements, but why would we not want to particpate?  Wait on the Lord and He WILL answer and He WILL come.  We wonder why we are unhappy or not recieving the blessings of the Lord, but it is only because we do not do the few things He asks of us.  Wait.  Trust.

This morning, before the world shut down due to snow, I had the chance to go have an encouraging cup of tea with a friend from church.  How wonderful it was to visit and share life. I want to cherish moments like that more!  We should enjoy the company of others more…we should encourage and uplift!  We should bear each other’s burdens and rejoice in thier triumphs!  It is an easy thing to forget to do.  Life comes along and steals the small joys like friendship and conversation.  Don’t let that happen!  Okay, anyway, before we met up, I read a beautiful little verse that should be the theme of our every waking moment: 

Phillipians 4:8  “Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.”

God is so good.  His unmerciful provision is overwhelming. I am so boastful and prideful and self-consumed, but God gave me a wonderful glimpse today of His greatness and faithfulness.  He is just and He will have the victory.  He will be glorified over stone-cold hearts, over prideful spirits, over hearts unwilling to surrender….He will be glorified.