Rainydaywisdom's Blog

revelations and inspirations of everyday life…

Walking with Jane May 9, 2010

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So you know that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Jane is traveling in the mud from her own home to Mr. Bingley’s?  The one were there is perfect asymmetrical balance, if there exists such a thing, between Jane and the lovely voluptuous tree settled on the left side of the screen.  Well, perhaps you only understand this reference if you are a hopeless romantic female like myself.  This picture is the epitome of confidence and peace for me.  There is something about the composition of the elements within this frame.  It could possibly be the beautiful arrangement of several of my favorite elements:  trees, rainy days, and freedom.  

Jane is a very passionate, confident, motivated person and this frame displays these qualities in a most eloquent way.  I want to be there.  Seeing this momentary scene play out makes me nostalgic about times when I have felt such peace and confidence, and then urges me to look ahead into what might provide such a time again.  Contentment mingled with purpose and dedication; serenity…how does one live and breathe and exist in such a state?   There is so much chaos and moments of terrible symmetrical balance and unexpected mud puddles that creep into my perfect scene.  If you continue to watch the movie, you see that Jane is also experiencing much turmoil and discontentedness at this time, but for five wonderful seconds there is raw and natural contentment.

Unfortunately, I cannot—no matter how badly I desire to—crawl into that perfect scene.  I cannot live in the perfect moment all of the time, or even the majority of the time.  I must live though. Not only just to live, but to live in the most effective and committed way I can…this is what I am destined to do.  To live effectively means to be me, Amanda Nicole Ratheal 100% of the time. No matter how silly or obvious you think the last statement is, it is true. Most, including myself, do not know what this truly means.  You see, just recently, I discovered that I can experience every single emotion known to man in the span of only an hour. Yes, an hour.  It is also possible to loose site of dreams and passions that you thought ran so deep that it would take the extreme act of draining the very blood from your body to loose.  I am sorrowful and bitter and selfish.  These things are apart of me as well as the happy bubbly spirit that I thought was the only thing that was supposed to exist within me.  To be me, you see, does not mean only living in the good times.  If this were true, for a portion of my life at least, I would not be living.  Bad things happen, we are sinful people and to deny that either of these things are true is to deny who God made you to be as well as His power to deliver you. We must push forward through the pits and rutts all the while acknowledging that we are broken and sinful people in need of the grace and mercy and help of a loving Heavenly Father.  This is what I mean by being me, 100% of the time. 

God is God in the good times and bad.  He is constant and unwavering. 

Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ.

 — John Piper (A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God)