I can own a llama if I choose to! June 16, 2010

What do you mean?

Nobody can do everything, and though they say you can do whatever you put your mind to, it isn’t really true, is it?  I mean, I know I have a billion and one choices everywhere I go and options as numerous as the stars in the sky, but is this a good thing?  There are multiple options and paths I may choose concerning every area of my life.  Walking into almost any restaurant (except El Guapo’s where I always know that I am going to get combination fajitas) I am overwhelmed and will even go as far as to say I dread the ordering process.  There are so many different combinations of the same ingredients and they all taste just a little bit different.  The menu at McAlister’s is as long as my house is wide!  I would rather give the kind server the extremely small list of foods that I abhor and say, “You pick, just make sure the things on this list aren’t in it.”  I promise, I think I would get less stressed out if I could do this.  I mean, I am not a picky eater, so I would be content with whatever they chose, I am certain of it!

Wardrobe is a whole other story.  Then, there is the decision about how to spend my weekend and what to name my goldfish and which CD I should by on my random music hunts.  What is the best choice?  Which decision will make me the happiest?  These thoughts plague my mind!  After the minuet details of my life are all decided and set in stone (like fajitas at El Guapo’s), I have all the major decisions to make like what to do with the rest of my life and how do I pay for it and will I ever own a llama…

Except for the llama bit, I really am very perplexed at the moment about what the next step is.  The way I see it, life can be as complex as you make it, and the way I am thinking right now, life is very complex.  Having too many choices can be a problem because it encourages a lack of commitment.  I become afraid to commit because I might come across something that would be more satisfying and promising.  The “what if’s” begin to control my life and I am swayed by the slightest breeze.

Commitment is a highly desired thing, but it is also one of the scarcest.  A lack of commitment shows a lack of trust and a lack of faith.  To commit is to let go of your ability to jump ship when things get hard or boring or down right dreadful.  Commitment to a person, job, hobby or any other thing requires sacrifice, but oh how rewarding it can be!  It seems that most often times, commitment is seen as bondage and something that takes away our freedom.  On the contrary however, it is a freedom giver.

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating—in work, play, in love.  To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” –Anne Morris

Sometimes, we just need to stick to our guns—Commit!  God’s will for our lives is not a secret that He is trying to hide from us.  He is not the author of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33) but He gives us passions and desires for a reason.  The more we seek out what it is that He has designed us to do, the more we will be able to see what our next step should be and how those passions can spur us onto living a life more abundantly in Christ.  To continue to wait for what might be better or more exciting is to defer our trust in the Lord again and again.  Thankfully our Lord is faithful, even when we are faithless (2 Tim. 2:13). 

So my challenge to you is to commit with me to commit.  Free yourself and find joy in pursuing God’s passions and desires all for the cross of Christ; so that He may be glorified in our lives.

Final Thoughts:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.  –Prov. 3:5.6

Walking with Jane May 9, 2010

So you know that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Jane is traveling in the mud from her own home to Mr. Bingley’s?  The one were there is perfect asymmetrical balance, if there exists such a thing, between Jane and the lovely voluptuous tree settled on the left side of the screen.  Well, perhaps you only understand this reference if you are a hopeless romantic female like myself.  This picture is the epitome of confidence and peace for me.  There is something about the composition of the elements within this frame.  It could possibly be the beautiful arrangement of several of my favorite elements:  trees, rainy days, and freedom.  

Jane is a very passionate, confident, motivated person and this frame displays these qualities in a most eloquent way.  I want to be there.  Seeing this momentary scene play out makes me nostalgic about times when I have felt such peace and confidence, and then urges me to look ahead into what might provide such a time again.  Contentment mingled with purpose and dedication; serenity…how does one live and breathe and exist in such a state?   There is so much chaos and moments of terrible symmetrical balance and unexpected mud puddles that creep into my perfect scene.  If you continue to watch the movie, you see that Jane is also experiencing much turmoil and discontentedness at this time, but for five wonderful seconds there is raw and natural contentment.

Unfortunately, I cannot—no matter how badly I desire to—crawl into that perfect scene.  I cannot live in the perfect moment all of the time, or even the majority of the time.  I must live though. Not only just to live, but to live in the most effective and committed way I can…this is what I am destined to do.  To live effectively means to be me, Amanda Nicole Ratheal 100% of the time. No matter how silly or obvious you think the last statement is, it is true. Most, including myself, do not know what this truly means.  You see, just recently, I discovered that I can experience every single emotion known to man in the span of only an hour. Yes, an hour.  It is also possible to loose site of dreams and passions that you thought ran so deep that it would take the extreme act of draining the very blood from your body to loose.  I am sorrowful and bitter and selfish.  These things are apart of me as well as the happy bubbly spirit that I thought was the only thing that was supposed to exist within me.  To be me, you see, does not mean only living in the good times.  If this were true, for a portion of my life at least, I would not be living.  Bad things happen, we are sinful people and to deny that either of these things are true is to deny who God made you to be as well as His power to deliver you. We must push forward through the pits and rutts all the while acknowledging that we are broken and sinful people in need of the grace and mercy and help of a loving Heavenly Father.  This is what I mean by being me, 100% of the time. 

God is God in the good times and bad.  He is constant and unwavering. 

Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ.

 — John Piper (A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God)